Dear Friendships

True friends are hard to come by as an adult. At least that's what I've noticed. Can I get a witness?? 

I look for authenticity. A person that is real with me. A person that doesn't gossip. I look for someone who wants the best for me, who supports my endeavors and who is willing to stand up for me. But I also want someone who is willing to put me in my place when I need it. Someone who loves me so much that she wants to see me grow spiritually, even if that means she has to tell me some things that would be hard to hear. There's a difference between pointing out someone's faults, and pointing someone back to Jesus. If a friend is trying to point you back to Jesus then you know she is doing it in love. When a friend is walking with the Lord, they desire the best for you, because they love you like Christ loves you. Even when you disappoint them, they are willing to pray for you and stick it out.

I had one of these true friend's confide in me about a struggle she was having with not getting what she felt her family deserved. They had been working so hard saving money, paying off debt, and making good financial decisions only to find out that their home had lost value. If they sold it they wouldn't be able to upgrade to a nicer home. All those years stuck in a neighborhood they didn't love, with neighbors that were living off the system, getting welfare and food stamps, popping out babies and not doing anything to better their situation. My friend even said that she was sure the neighbors had stolen diapers from her diaper delivery service that had been sitting on her front porch. It enraged her that these people were doing everything wrong and getting away with it, yet her family was working so hard to do everything right and seemed to be getting nothing from it.  She didn't like feeling this way and knew that it sounded so petty (first world problems) but it's just how she was feeling.

It's funny because when the problem is not my own I feel like I can see so clearly what the Lord is trying to teach her in all this. I value this friend so much because she knows that how she is feeling is not right, but she's real enough to share it with me. And then, what I love even more about her is that she accepts the response that the Lord has given me for her. It's important to listen to the Holy Spirit when a friend is in need and then respond with what He is telling you. A friend that is walking with the Lord is humble and teachable. They will listen and take it in because they don't want to be defined by their sin.

So I asked her if she had been praying for her neighbors? Had they invested at all in the opportunity to help a family in need? God has a purpose for giving them those particular neighbors and the reason was not to enrage them, but to grow them. Grow their love. It's easy to love kind people, but it takes Christ in you to love people who don't seem deserving. (Luke 6:33-35)
Another thing the Spirit showed me is that a lot of times what you hate in someone else is actually a direct reflection of the sin in your own life. Of course no one wants that reminder in their faces everyday so we judge the people committing our secret sin because we know someone needs to get punished for it! In this case, my dear friend was judging her neighbors for being entitled, when in fact she was being entitled with God. She felt that because they had worked so hard, they deserved better from God. Her struggle with her own entitlement was causing her to hate her neighbor. Isn't it amazing what sin can do?? Praise God for my sweet friend and her teachable spirit. God was able to speak to her heart in that moment and reveal some things she needed to hear.

Btw if there is someone in your life that drives you crazy, pushes your buttons and makes you angry, then take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself, "What sin am I struggling with in my life that is reflecting back at me through this person?" Then do some soul searching. Spend time in God's Word and ask Him to show you. And if you have a trusted Christian friend that is walking with the Lord, ask them what they think. But make sure you are ready to hear it. Ask the Lord to humble you and make you teachable.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. Proverbs 12:1 (ESV)


Ok so I think "stupid" is a little harsh, but hey if the Bible says it!! 

My encouragement today is to BE that friend who is willing to receive advice. Be that friend that doesn't want to stay in a place of struggle, but wants help. Be humble, be teachable, and be loving. Don't lash out. Don't let pride get in the way. I want us to raise the bar when it comes to friendships! Step it up people! Love like Christ loves, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and ready to forgive when your friend messes up. I can't tell you how many times I have messed up or said something hurtful without meaning to, and the friends that have forgiven me are the ones I value more than ever. Don't accept your friends faults as a permanent thing, offer to help in prayer, accountability and encouragement, and expect the same thing when it comes to your own faults. If your christian friend is gossiping, call her out in love! If your married christian friend is flirting with another man, pull her aside and ask her for a heart to heart moment with you about it. From that loving moment of accountability might come an outpouring of truth that could set her FREE! 

I want to fight for my friends. I want to stand in the gap for them when they are struggling, and I want friends who are willing to fight for me. 
What do you say friends, can we raise the bar with our christian friendships?? 
Look at Jesus' relationships with His disciples. He was teaching, loving, healing, correcting and encouraging. They couldn't return the favor to Him because He was without sin, but we are all with sin so let's be that for each other! Let's be a friend like Jesus. 

His Restoration Project

Have you ever restored something? Like an antique dresser or nightstand?

I look at our kitchen table and it is in desperate need of restoration. It's over 15 years old and boy does it look like it! The legs used to be white..but now they are chipped, faded and somehow have food stains on them…not quite sure how that happened. (I blame the babies.) The top of the table is a natural wood color but is looking very dull with craft stains, rough patches, and a lovely ring from an overly wet cup left out overnight. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't take very good care of this table over the years. When I wipe it down now, it doesn't actually get clean because the filth from all the years has seeped into the wood. I think we just need to take a sandblaster to it.

I feel like I can relate to this table.

I started out clean and new as a young Christian, but as the years went by I got trampled on by disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. I felt unloved so I fell into disrepair. I let the filth of this world seep into my heart and over time it corroded my view on love and marriage. With my negative outlook reigning supreme in my mind, my faith got smaller and smaller. I became stained by this world and the lies of the enemy. 

But God didn't give up on me. He never said, "She's too dirty now, I'm done with her." Or "This is too hard, I give up!" He kept on pursuing me. 

But sometimes the only way to get our attention is to let us fall.

If I were to restore my kitchen table, I would first have to take it apart. And this is what God did with me. 
In order to restore me, He had to take me apart piece by piece. It hurt, but once I was completely broken, I was finally ready to let Him put me back together. I knew He was the only One who could restore my soul.

With great care and patience He smoothes out our rough edges, He chips away at the bad and sculpts it into good. He cleans us. He seals us. He restores us. We are His greatest restoration project. And it's ongoing. He doesn't give up. The day He is done is the day we are face to face with Him and our restoration is complete. We will be perfect. 

But until then, I thank God for all He has done in me and all He continues to do. I know there is still so much work left. At times I still feel like a couple pieces haven't been put back together yet and it's because He is still working on them. As He works, I wait and abide in Him. Sometimes you just have to rest while He restores.

"He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." Psalm 23:2-3 (ESV)

Please listen to this song and know that "there's nothing too dirty, that He can't make worthy." And know that if you are in pain and hurting right now, it may be because He is restoring you piece by piece. God is good, let Him do a good work in you. God Bless.

"Clean" by Natalie Grant
I see shattered
You see whole
I see broken
But You see beautiful
And You're helping me to believe
You're restoring me piece by piece

There's nothing too dirty that You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean.
There's nothing too dirty that You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean.

What was dead now lives again
My heart's beating, beating inside my chest
Oh I'm coming alive with joy and destiny
Cause You're restoring me piece by piece

There's nothing too dirty that You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean.
There's nothing too dirty that You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean.

Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice
Your blood flowed red and made me white
My dirty rags are purified
I am clean

Do You Trust God with your child?

We live in a strange time, where transgender bathrooms are topics of discussion. In the not-too-distant future public schools will have bathrooms available for the transgender student to go where they identify most.

When I first heard this, I thought, "Oh no, my daughter will start kindergarten this year, am I going to have to put her in private school just to keep her protected from this??" (Lord knows I cannot home school..let's just say it's not my gifting.) ;)

So one thing I try to do when a big decision needs to be made is I imagine what life would be like for both paths I have to choose from. Let's say every christian takes their child out of public school: God's spirit would no longer be in the public school system through our children. 
How does that work in the grand scheme of trusting the Lord, living in the world and being a light to others? If every christian parent decided to homeschool their child to protect them from the world, haven't we just taken something that is not even ours to begin with and put a basket over it so it cannot shine to the unsaved? How will any non-christian child hear about Christ if not one child in the public school system is saved? We all know teachers can't talk about God without getting fired or written up!

Friends I am on the fence. One part of me says, yes, take your kid out of public school because God gave us the responsibility to protect them and raise them in His Word. But the other part of me says where is your trust? Do you not trust that God will take care of your child? Do you not trust in His great plan? And do you care more about sheltering your child from the world than obeying the commands of the Lord to let your light shine, to go make disciples, and to love as Christ loves?

I think what it boils down to is this: What is God telling YOU to do? 

There is no right or wrong christian answer to keeping your child in public school or taking them out. This is an issue that only God has the answer for. And YOU as the parent of God's child need to seek Him about it. Do not make your child's future decisions based on a high horse, or on what all the other christian moms are doing, or on a political stance. Make the decision on what the Holy Spirit tells YOU to do regarding your child.

Remember WWJD? (What would Jesus Do?) If Jesus had a child, (and btw He does, it's all of us!) would He allow that child into public school amongst "sinners"? Or would He take them out of that influence to homeschool them? I honestly don't know! Those BOTH sound like something He would do! wait..hold on a sec.. I'm seeing a parallel here…We are His children, and He has put us into a sinful world, (kinda like public school) but yet He still wants to be our Teacher. …so it's like being IN the world but not OF the world. We need to be around the unsaved, so do our children, but we need to take responsibility for teaching our children about Christ EVERYDAY, just like He wants us to learn from Him everyday. Fill them up so much with the good, that they will not be tempted to stray to the bad. 
Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way He should go; even when he is old he shall not depart from it."

When a lovely couple I met a few years ago felt called into missionary work in a dangerous part of the world, I remember thinking, how could they do that? They have 3 young children! Then after God radically changed my life, I realized that they were following the command God had given THEM, for THEIR life. Their children were just as much called to that life as they were, and THAT'S OK. God will take care of them. He has a plan. And if something terrible did happen to one or all of the children, it would be part of a predestined plan. A plan for His glory to be revealed through the lives of those kids.

Believers, we must be OK with God's plan, no matter how it looks. No matter what might happen. He is good. He has reasons. Good reasons for His glory. We need to live out the belief that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, BLESSED be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)

If anything, I hope this crazy idea of transgender bathrooms gets christians to pray and seek the Lord on what He wants for them and their kids. I hope it brings every christian parent to that place where they can say, "My child is completely in Your hands Lord. I trust You to keep them safe when I cannot. And if something bad does happen to them, I trust that You know what you are doing and I praise you no matter what."

I may not know what God wants me to do for my kids in regards to this issue yet, but I can tell you that I trust them in HIS hands way more than my own. He is perfect and I just want to be obedient to what He has planned for MY family, so that we can be used WHEREVER He leads us for His kingdom. 

It's not about us. It's not about living in a safe, protected christian bubble. It's about love and obedience, and taking up your cross. Sure you might be able to take up your cross, but are you letting your child take up theirs? You cannot carry your child's cross for them. After all, God sent His Son did He not?

Let's sock one at the devil today by not getting angry and lashing out at the world, and creating even more reasons for the lost to never give Jesus a shot. Let's retreat into His Word, pray without ceasing, and obey what He tells us to do, no matter what that is. 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (ESV)